Alamak raining!

Haha, this blog is supposed to be written yesterday, anyway, better late than never. Yesterday was Monday, a working day and the first working day of the week. The first working day of the week usually is hated by most people. The 'best' thing is that it was raining very heavily in the morning. But yesterday was a bit different.

I am sure most people when met with such situation, when they are preparing to go to work, only going to step out of the house in half to one hour's time, then it suddenly rain. Most people would say, "Oh no!!! Raining! Sianz leh! So troublesome! It would be nice to just snuggle in bed to sleep." After saying something to the same effect, then you start 'torturing' yourself by playing the "going to work in the rain" scenario in the mind. You start to conjure images of all the inconvenience the rain will bring to you when you go to work in your mind and you would frown at each inconvenience (you encounter in your brain), "Aiyah going to get wet!" "Alamak, today need to bring so many documents to the office and now it is raining." Right? Did u ever have such a scenario?? Haha!

Before you even go out into the rain, you already torture yourself several rounds in the brain. :P Then before you know it, when you just step out of the house, the rain stop!! Haha! But you have already tormented yourself before you even step out of the house. Think about it. We unnecessarily potray the trend of raining to our future, to cover the whole journey time (meaning we assume that the rain will just keep on until we reach the office). And because we potray the rain into the future, we unnecessarily created unhappiness for ourselves. Think about it.

I give you another scenario. I am sure we have come across a day where everything does not go right? Let me give you a timeline of how such a day happen. The first bad thing happen to you, you just say it is a one-off thing. The second bad thing happens, you start to have doubt whether the day will go smooth for you.The third bad thing happens and you start to potray out the trend of bad luck to the rest of the day. You start to think of all the bad things that could happen to you. You start to neglect the good things that happen to you on the same day. And you torture yourself by thinking all the bad things that could happen to you in your brain and you frown at each bad things that COULD happen to you. Haha! Sounds familiar?

Trends is good for predicting the near future but does not mean it goes on forever. And why go and torture and worry yourself to death on something that MIGHT happen in the future? You can make rough plans on how to handle it and that is it. And when it happens then implement your rough plans lah.

Anyway, this is for records sake, today is my last day of training for the software company, at least for the near future. A bit sad though cos I kind of enjoy doing training, because I can see that I am making an impact on other people's life. But hei, things are impermanence. I might be back to training again. Haha!

Cheers!

Half Empty/Full

There is a common question that will most of the time be asked when you read any self-help books or attend any self-help seminar and that is, imagine a glass of water with water fill to half its capacity, do you see the glass half empty or half full. And from the answer that you give, one is able to tell if you are a positive person or a negative person.

Let me give my answer to the question. The glass is always full. So I neither choose half empty or half full. Haha, think about it for a while before you read on, why I said that the glass is always full.

Have you given some thought? Ok here goes, the glass in a natural environment will always be full no matter how much water is inside. Because the glass can be fill with air (air here does not mean water ah. :P) . This is the reason why the glass is always full. Everytime we are asked the question of whether the glass is half empty or half full, the person who ask the question has direct you to make some assumption and that is you see it from the perspective of water in the glass. How he direct you? Very simple, by offering you a multiple choice question. Half empty or half full, two options only. As such you will be thinking from the perspective of water readily without question asked. And if you think properly, the asker just ask "Is the glass half full or half empty?" Many a times there is no mentioned of water in the question at all. Think about it.

I am sure after reading till this paragraph, you have now more interpretations of the glass with water filled to half its capacity. For example, the glass is full of oxygen molecules and pairs of oxygen atom and hydrogen atoms. The glass is full of molecules. The glass is full of neutrons, protons and electrons. How come suddenly, you have a lot of interpretation of the same thing? This is because I have broken the assumption for you. The assumption that you need to look at the perspective of water.

In life, there are many options available to us. Many a times we are limited by the perspective of things that we have, as seen from the glass example. And because of our limited perspective of things, we dismiss or overlook better solutions to our problem. So when we look at a problem, look at the problem from many perspective, looking at it from many perspective can allow us to see the problem as it is, not worse or better than what it is, understand which perspective is the best for solving this problem and then choose the appropriate solution to solve it.

How to see from many perspectives? Well perhaps the first step is to find out what are the assumptions you have made. Check that these assumptions can they be broken or not. And once the assumption is broken, you can view a problem from many more angles, just like the glass example again.

Cheers!

Impermanence Part 1

Well as most of you'll know, I am studying religion now but with a focus on Buddhism. I find Buddhism fascinating basically because their pratice is to cultivate the mind so that one can be mindful and see things better and clearer. And most of the readers would know that I am a very 'mind' person because I like to contemplate a lot. Which explains why I am so curious, am able to absorb knowledge, have good but misguided memory and good mind qualities overall. :P Hahaha! Pardon me for blowing my own trumpet. Hehe!

Anyway, one of the main principles in Buddhism is Impermanence, means that things are always in a flux. There is nothing that is permanent. Now I know some readers going to argue with me saying, "The only thing that is permanent is impermanence." You can argue this sentence for all you want but I will not go along, because there will not be any benefit derived in arguing abt it. I rather do something more constructive, in my opinion of course. :)

So if one see impermanence in many things surrounding him, there is a lot of benefits for him. First thing is we will not take things for granted. Because we know some day, it will not be with us or we might not be with them, when forced by circumstances. By not taking things for granted, we will not have deep regret when the day comes where we have to leave behind the things we treasure the most because we have done our best to be with them.

Seeing impermanence, we know that the things that we have now will not be with us forever. If that is the case, why not, where possible, let go these things earlier and give to people who can benefit from them more than us? For instance, money. We know money will not be with us forever, or we cannot bring with us to our grave. If that is the case, why not give a part of it to charity (meaningful ones of course), that is after considering your financial needs. And as I mentioned in my previous blog entry, doing charity can create bigger things for you in the end. By the way, if you are at the receiving end, do rejoice about it. This will make the giver happy and it will make you happy as well, since you have someone willing to give you something. Cheers to that! :D

Seeing impermanence, it gives us certain hope, in sensible situations of course. For instance, when we met with failure, always see that this failure or setback can be recovered from. The effects of a setback is not permanent. How long the effects stays with you greatly depends on how your actions later disprove it, again as I mentioned in my previous blog entry.

Seeing impermanence, we can see through time to a certain extent. For example, you can see a mug as a functional mug or a mug that is broken into pieces or just clay. With these in mind, you will again not take things for granted and always be prepared to take appropriate actions.

Seeing impermanence, you know that when you plan, you must allow some room for changes or have contingency plans. With that in mind, you will be better prepared for things that might disrupt your plans, giving you ample time to react to emergencies.

Seeing impermanence, one should not be inside his comfort zone for too long because you never know when you might be kick out of it. The only way not to be kick out of your comfort zone is to always stay at the boundary of your comfort zone and keep on expanding it while you are there.

Seeing impermanence, why go for fortune telling or get someone to tell your future? Because of impermanence, things are always in a flux so who can tell you what WILL happen in your future? The only certain things in your future, is your death and that we do not have any idea when it will happen, again because of impermanence.

Well. these are my thoughts on impermanence at the moment. Readers who have comments do feel free to give it to me. Cheers.

Worry-ism

Apologies, it has been a long time since I write my last entry. Although it is slightly more than a week since I wrote my last entry, I am sure most readers would think I am slow, in my own standard.

Anyway, just want to share with you guys a story I read in the Sunday's Chinese Newspaper. There are two morals to this story. As for what are the morals of the story, I shall let the readers do a bit of contemplation. Again, this is a translated story so pardon the English Language. :) Here goes:

There once was a monk that ask his teacher a question:"What is spiritual practice?" His teacher replied:"Eat when it is time to eat. Sleep when it is time to sleep." Scratching his head, the monk ask his teacher again, "I eat when I am hungry, I sleep when I am sleepy, but how come I do not feel like I am in spiritual practice?" The teacher replied, "When people are having their meals, they usually do not concentrate on their meals, their thoughts will be all over the place, thinking about many things. When people are sleeping, they would think or even dream of things in their life. Thus when it is time to eat, they are not eating properly. When it is time to sleep, they never sleep well." The sentence "Eat when it is time to eat. Sleep when it is time to sleep." may sound simple enough to follow but it hits the nail at our worrisome nature. A lot of people when they are working, thinks of knocking off. When they have knock off, they things about the work they have left behind in the office. Ain't it true?

This is a story of a female friend of mine.

Her husband and her strike out together, setting up their own business. During work, she is always worrying about the kids that are studying at the kindergarten. So she would repeatedly make phone calls to the kindergarten to make enquiries her kids, to the point that the kindergarten staff knows her and gave her a nickname. She knows about this but she could not help it. But after fetching her kids back from kindergarten, after work, she has no patience in teaching them. She would raise her voice and scold them, to the point that her kids, who are already obedient, cries. And she often lamented about the affairs in the business with her husband, causing the atmosphere in the family to be quite 'heavy'.

This happen until to a point where her husband feel the need to communicate with her, asking her if she is stressed out and does she needed a rest. Coincidentally, her university friends is organizing a tour to the US, so her family encourage her to go for the trip to relax.

But the trip did not help her to relax. She still make repeated phone calls home to check out her family and business, even during the night time as well. (Probably due to time zone difference). Her body was with the tour group but her heart was still with the family. With that, she could not stand it anymore and came back home after two weeks on the road.

When she reached home, she exclaimed, "I miss you guys!" and ran to give her family a hug. The next day, after she came back, she went back to the normal routine of calling the kindergarten up, complaining to her husband when no one at the kindergarten answered her phone call. It was beyond the tolerance level of her husband, he scolded her,"Why worry so much? Does your worry benefit the kids? Do you know that the days when you are not around, we are so happy?"

His roar awaken her. She finally realise that being worried caused a lot of suffering for her family. She also realised that her worrisome nature has caused herself to be a mess, and burdened her family, causing her negative emotions to rub off on her family.

She finally realise she has to let go. The letting go principle is very important in work and relationships.

--The End--

Hope you guys like the story and derive something meaningful in it. I know I did. Cheers!

Reminiscing

Today, I had an appointment at Causeway Point. The appointment was good because the lady that I met with shared a lot of her training experience with me and due to her former job, her knowledge of NLB and network inside. The information is very useful since I wanted to build a career in training, both for adult and children. The information allow me to create a situation where it will build a win-win situation for all parties which is very important in this society now. I am so grateful that I met this lady. (Just in case some of you readers are wondering, the lady is married hor. :) ) The best thing is that what led me to meet with this lady was because I was willing to give a free talk. I am looking forward to giving more talks especially at NLB where the crowds are there and if I can make my delivery of topics interesting, I am sure I will keep on drawing the crowds in. And slowly be able to fulfill my dream of having my own training company, a company that helps people to create and build more value in their lives.

Well, I leverage on her knowledge and network on training and NLB but I offer my 'expertise' in Internet marketing and websites :) Chinese have a word for this called "舍得". Actual meaning is willing to let go, or willing to give. But if you look at individual character alone. It means "give take". So you can see from here, one has to give first before he can take. So in order to increase what you have, be willing to give, be willing to give to someone worthy. Only after that, then you should take, and rejoice in what you have. Why? Because, this something that you take is something you earn by giving up something. And another thing, people is willing to give you something, is that not wonderful? It says a lot about your character if someone is willing to give you something willingly. So you should rejoice about it. Imagine you have a friend that keeps on taking without giving anything, would that not irk you, make you not willing to give him anything anymore, unless there is a change in his/her attitude. But give first to test the character, then continue to give to those that are worthy. As for those that are not worthy, you decide for yourself if you want to give. :)

So far what I say does not seem to fit in with the title right? Haha, here it is. Like I mentioned, I went back to Causeway Point today. Causeway Point has become a special place in my 'memory box'. Why this is so is because remember my birthday this year? Yes, I spent it at Causeway Point with the special someone. So when I reach Causeway Point, images of what happen on my birthday start to flood my mind, with a lot of details of course. For instance, walking from Causeway Point to my best friend's place, the potluck that we have; the cream puff, peppermint cake, murtabak, fried rice, Filippino cuisine, Burmese salad, duck, Indonesian chilli (Haha!) and so on, the cake cutting (by four birthday people), the 'hot' card game that we had, the long chat with two best friends. It was a very enjoyable day that I had and of course like I mentioned before, being able to spend my birthday with my best friends and good friends and that special someone, of course. :) Those images never fail to put a smile on my face. So yes, Causeway Point does hold a special place in my heart. A place that I will always remember.

Yes, I have found a job already. So now that is one area in life that is settled. Now is to work on my other areas of interest and going about to create a few source of income for myself. Have to push myself harder now since I have been slacking for two years or so, taking my own sweet time in things. Definitely will take some effort moving from a slacking environment to one where I will be busy the moment I open my eyes till the moment I sleep. I still strongly believe that I can achieve my goals in life, to lead the life that I want.

Onwards march, towards my dream of having my own training business (or other business where possible :P) empire. And of course, the one important question I need to settle is "How is she doing?" Haha, let's see how it will be answered. :)

Cheers!

Titles & Labels

As we proceed in life, we will earn a lot of titles. From our job, with our friends and inside our family we will have titles. In our job we have job titles like XXX Executive, XXX Managing Director and so on. With our friends or family, the titles are what is commonly known as nicknames. Some of us like the nicknames but most of us I am sure do not like it. Even nicknames are split into two groups, one that is given behind your back, that is how your friends refer to you behind your back and another that nicknames that you are commonly known in your group of friends.

Some of these titles reflect a certain labels that people have on you. For instance, Stupid Man, Einstein, Free Man and so on. "Stupid man" I am sure is a label that is given to a supposedly stupid man. "Einstein" is usually given to one that is very smart and nerdy like me. :P and need I say more for "Free Man"? Hahaha!

Most of us sometimes really let these labels affect how we take actions. How? Let me give you two common examples. In a job, sometimes you are faced with a dilemma. Should you take a risk to solve a problem? If the solution works, you will be labeled as 'smart' in the company but if the solution does ont work. you will be labeled as 'stupid' or 'idiot' or worst 'imbecile' in your company and you might have to live with these labels for sometimes. Because of these negative labels, one would seldom want to risk it.

Another common example is, let's say you found out that you like someone, then comes the problem of whether should you let the person know your feelings or not. Because if she reciprocate, you will be labeled as 'brave', 'smart', 'lucky' and all the nice labels that is applicable. But if she does not, then you would be embarrassed, be scarred by this failure, be labeled as 'wishful thinker', 'failure', 'stupid' and all the negative labels that are applicable. So in the end, because of your great fear of failure and negative labels, you decide to hold your tongue and in the end forestall what could have been a good and happy relationship.

Now if you think carefully and read carefully, all these are words and, seriously, all these labels are really temporary. Why I said they are temporary is this. Very simple, if a person that you labeled 'stupid' starts taking action that reflects that he is smart. Are you still going to continually call the person stupid? I think if you do that, other people might start saying that you are stupid instead.

If many bad things are happening to you and you start to label yourself as 'unlucky'. Now if YOU start looking at the positive side of things, I am sure you will start saying that your luck has changed because all the good things are happening to you. The label of 'unlucky' has been broken because you change your focus.

If you like a certain person but in the end was rejected. Other people may label you as 'failure' or 'stupid' but if you start to take actions that show otherwise, do you think people will continue to call you a 'failure' and 'stupid'? And if the other party is someone risking getting a TEMPORARY negative label why not?

And you can see from here, how temporary such negative labels sticks to you truly depends on the actions you are taking. It greatly depends on yourself.

The truly wise one can relate labels to actions or to the person.

Make your actions congruent with the labels that you want as a person. Be able to see that negative labels can be limited to the particular action that you took. Don't let words stop you from chasing what you want. Always remember you can make these labels temporary or permanent (till your death).

Cheers!