Lonely and Tired

Very fast, the weekend has past and tomorrow is Monday. Well to me it really does not matter cos I do not really have a rest day since during weekends I also work on my websites, networking with friends or catch up on my reading.

But these two weeks is really very tiring. Because now I am on my own and the person whose duties I am covering has gone on maternity leave. So basically because I do not have a proper run through of all the duties that need to be done for the start of the month, when I realise that something needs to be done, I am basically a firefighter, have to fight out the 'fire' fast and furious so basically has been very tired. But looking at the bright side, because one of the female colleague live near my place so I have the honor of her company to go back home several times the last two weeks. Haha, all I can say is she knows how to dress, and if she can pay more attention to her diet, she will be very beautiful. But hei not everyone so lucky to have a company of a nice lady when going back right? So I am lucky lah! :) Anyway, coming back to work, thank goodness I am able to manage my emotions well otherwise I am sure anyone would have gave up and scream or curse and swear if they go through what I am going through. For me, I just smile and do it lor, cos I tell myself, if I am able to go through this process without sinking into negative emotions, I am sure my emotional muscle will turn up even stronger and I succeeded! Cheers to that! Yeah! Hopefully next week would be better! Haha! Maybe I will have the company of my colleague again next week, haha!

I should count myself lucky because the working environment is quite good. The physical environment might not be as good as my previous stint at the research centre, but the human environment is still the same. All the colleagues are friendly and helpful, especially my 'neighbour' and my supervisor. My 'neighbour' is the person that is handing the duties before she handed over to the colleague I am covering. So I am glad that there is someone to lend support and help while I am busy fighting fire.

Ok let's tackle the 'lonely' part now. My good indonesian friend's gf came down to visit him so he arranged to meet up another good friend of mine at Causeway point for dinner. He ask me to come along so I oblige since I wanted to eat the delicious Murtabak again. But alas, when I reach there, the stall was closed :( because it was Hari Raya Puasa. Haha, public holiday, weekdays and weekend might not make any difference to me but it does for others. :) So me, my Indonesian friend and his gf, my good friend and his wife were having dinner at Causeway Point anyway. I think those that are smart would realise something. I seem to be the odd one out. Haha! Yah I kind of realise it when I accepted the invitation. So you can see I am 'lonely'.

The situation set me thinking though. Looking back what happen in my love life, if there is any to talk about, life there is really tough. I guess I was picky also lah. I hold on strongly to a belief that if I do not choose one that is good, I might actually regret and ruin my future. So if that is the case, there is no one else to blame for the state I am in. And sometimes when I meet the 'right' one, I will also self-destruct, just like last time. Well what to do, because I care about my ego too much. As much as I wanted to find someone dear to share my life with, I still must be patient, even if I run out of it, to look for the right one. But I also realise what I have done wrong last time, so I must correct my mistakes and make sure it does not repeat itself. And also have to realise that even if I do not let my mistakes repeat itself, it does not guarantee anything. Oh well, that is life. But making the best effort is within my control and I decide to do that. Succeed or not, well cross all my fingers on that!

Cheers!