Susah Mengerti

In life, there are some things that are really very difficult to understand. Why it is so could be because we are ignorant at the moment of some things. Meaning we do not have a big enough information set to make a good judgment of the situation.

There is this person in my life now. With her, I always feel very comfortable and happy. When dealing with other people whom I have not known for long, my guard against the person is usually very high, and I do mean very high, being mindful what I say to a person. But for her, my guard is usually down. I feel that I can chat with her about anything. And she does reciprocate back by telling me more stuff abt herself like her problems.

I want the best for her and always think of how to make her happy. And I always look out for her, make sure for her, things are as smooth as possible, as long as it is within my means. Her smile will at least give me energy and her smile will always add some spice and live to our conversation. It is something that I never felt with other girls that I like at all.

The breakthrough in the motivation level that I have been seeking have now been found because I truly want the best for her, and to do that means I have to work hard on making my other businesses pick up so that I have the means to do it.

So is this 'love' instead of 'like'? Because I have never felt like this for a girl at all. Even for girls that I have identified as 'Like' or those that are already attached. Seriously I have no idea, where this flow is moving to. It is so difficult to foresee the future when I know that she is attached but there are no plans of marriage in her relationship as yet. The 'weather' in the future is a thick mist that no one can see it. I think this is really what Buddhism meant by impermanence because we can only be sure of the present moment and no one can be sure of the next 'present moments' that is to come.

I will only understand such feeling and thoughts if I am not ignorant about it but as human, I am. No one can understand what is the difference between between like and love or is there such a person who do? No idea.

Anyway, I am glad that my two good friends are attached and one of them have marriage plans in their relationship.

Cheers!