Birthday No. 30, Birthday No. 31.....

In another 37 minutes, it will be my birthday. The good thing about owning a blog is that you can recollect what happen a year ago or even a few years ago, depending on how long is your blog. So I was going through the June 2007 entries and have a look.

Well a year can be short, it can be long, but many things have happened. A year ago, I was head over heels of an illusion that I am not able to grasp, was forced to leave a place that I loved, and is happily writing blog with two entries in a day. A year has past this is what happened, I am head over heels over another illusion that I know I will not be able to grasp for now, but this time the illusion is something that is really better than the previous illusions that I am contend with. Is this fickle minded? Is my love not steadfast? What about this current illusion? Am I not true?

To be honest, this illusion is something I 100% wish with all my heart that it will turn into reality. The feeling for this illusion is much stronger than the previous illusion that I have a year ago, but alas, timing is all wrong. If only...... well here I go again, if "if only" happens, I might not even come across this illusion at all. =) Another birthday where I am lonely, without that special someone to celebrate together with me. Sometimes I wonder, am I getting so used to holding on to illusions, it has become my reality instead, that I will never be able to hold on to reality anymore. At least this birthday is like other birthdays that I have, where good friends and family gather to celebrate for me.

As I write this blog, tears wells up in my eyes. Will the next few birthdays be the same as the last few birthdays that I celebrate? In my heart, there is a great yearning to be with that special someone but Life make such a wish, always seems so near and yet it is truly so far.

Year in year out. My weekends are also the same more or less, but much busier now given the fact that I am studying for my MBA now and also there are new business projects with better potential coming up compared to what happen in my previous birthday.

What kind of life will I be leading in the next few birthdays? A life of all rounded success? A life of regrets? A life of hanging on "If only" and not letting go of it? Whatever the outcome should be, I know I have the power to change it by making it possible for my desired outcome to become reality.

The funny thing in life is we are the script writer of our life but the difference between a life scriptwriter and a drama scriptwriter is whatever the drama scriptwriter writes, it WILL turn out the way he wrotes, whereas a life scriptwriter, it can turn out the way he wrotes.

What will my next birthday be like? =)

Cheers!